Theatre & School
Hey you guys!
I decided to make an extra post.
This will be a few posts because it’s just too much to share in one post.
I wanted to share what I have done though. I share some things about it in Episode 3 which you can listen to here
I don’t know if you could tell or not but I am sick. Due to that, my voice is scratchy and I cannot promise a post on Monday. If there is one it will be shorter due to my health. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about and I will be better soon.
Someone mentioned how frail I am and that I need someone to always be with me, etc. I don’t believe that’s true. In this post I’ll talk a bit about how frail I used to be and in future posts I’ll show how I have overcome them. I’ll also show how I am anything but frail today!
I wanted to start off with a photo of me working backstage on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
I was suffering from side effects to a medication at the time and wouldn’t eat. I actually became skin and bone. As some know, I am Epileptic so they tried alot of medications to help control my seizures due to that. I could go on and on about the side-effects to medications I faced but that was then and this is now.
At THAT time, it was only one medication a day but my meds got up to three very strong anti-convulsants, three times a day! They also did alot of medical tests on me, etc. as you can imagine. It was a VERY HARD time in my life.
Right before that I was put on a medication that made me eat constantly.
My point, I was frail at that time and shouldn’t have been alone.
This does NOT mean that I am as frail TODAY!
This was in the PAST and to help EVERYONE, it should stay in the PAST!
I still have seizures but they are mainly UNDER CONTROL.
Some need to ACCEPT that and LET ME LIVE, while living is possible for me.
I deserve to live. You deserve to live. We ALL deserve to live so go live!
That was THEN…this is NOW! Say it with me, that was the PAST and this is TODAY! Repeat it over and over until you understand it.
Another thing that may help is repeating the words LET GO over and over.
Me at 15yrs going on 16yrs! Backstage at Asbury Theatre for Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
I talked a little bit about this situation in Episode 3!
If you haven’t listened already, it is above.
Although the next collage, shows playbills from shows that I have been in, please note this was only community non-paid theatre.
I did learn things like answering phones, writing down tickets, passing out playbills, helping people to their seats. All this was learnt after school and while working backstage. One of the main things that I learnt back-stage was prop making. I started that while working on J.A.T.D. and made the ring needed for Elvis/ Pharaoh.
Everyday was not bad and the cast surprised me at the time with a birthday cake that had tweetie on it! I was majorly into tweetie at the time and even wanted a tweetie tattoo. I share a funny story about that in Episode 3. You can listen to it above if you haven’t already.
I wasn’t extremely happy when the show ended but I was in Choir too. I also knew that there would be another show. There was one show after another at that time!
There were rehearsals once a week for Choir, show or no show. As the Choir Directors daughter, I felt that I had a duty to be there. Plus, I honestly loved singing! Having voice lessons, etc. I was usually busy with something.
At 16yrs old they attempted to give me brain surgery to help stop my seizures. I talked a bit about this in Episode 3. I say attempted because they could not locate the trigger spot to my seizures in order to take it out.
I recovered rather fast because they did nothing but sew me back up. I was hugely, HUGELY disappointed and that was the hardest time of my life.
At the time, they were doing Fiddler On The Roof at The Savannah Theatre. It was just community non-paid theatre. Plus, it was hugely run down but it was home to many of the artists who went there alot. Outside during intermission a friend talked to me and helped me to feel a bit better because she made me feel as if she understood.
You have to understand that each day I was covered in bruises due to convulsing. I had pads on my bed to make it easier for me when I hit myself but they didn’t help that much due to the fact that I was already bruised.
I felt as if NOBODY would ever understand me.
I understand how those who witnessed that would think that I were frail or incapable today.
There are things that I need help with. I am NOT ashamed to admit or ask for that help because no-one can do everything alone!
I am not as bad as I was during that time though and deserve to live for TODAY. As do those who witnessed that time in my life. I was strong to have handled it and strong to have lived through it but that part of my life is OVER.
IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON AND LIVE FOR TODAY PEOPLE!
I REALLY loved the holidays because that meant that I didn’t have to go to school.
I could really go into details about how wrongly I was treated at school but I won’t. I do not know if the way I was treated was due to the fact that I was disabled, due to the fact that I was open with my being bi-sexual or due to the fact that I would stand up for others who were also disabled.
I do know how I was treated in school was wrong and only made my life much harder! Even though it HAS made my life a living hell, if my being treated in the manner I was had anything whatsoever to do with standing up for others, I’d welcome it.
Call me crazy, many do but I honestly would rather be harmed myself than cower in fear while someone else is being harmed. Hiding away just isn’t me! Plus, SOMEONE needed to stand up for others in that school. I wasn’t afraid of death because I faced it every night!
If I was going to die, I was going to die standing up for others! Maybe that’s why I was there!
Sadly they had no cops in my school until the last year and absolutely NO cameras that I’m aware of. My being harmed was not good but someone having the strength to stand up for others who were harmed was good!!! I do wish someone would stand up for me as I did others but ya can’t have everything you wish for. That’s life.
If they did have cameras, they would have seen some of the abuse that I was put through. I KNOW that some were witness to it and did nothing but laugh, which is SICK! You don’t laugh when someone is being physically abused, you stop it if possible and get help! DUH!
The way I was treated in school reminds me of the movie An American Crime based on the true story of Gertrude Baniszewski , only my situation was not as harsh. History does tend to repeat itself. That alone should speak volumes.
I would come home crying for that reason, among others and the theatre along with movies, tv shows, etc. often saved me.
I was not treated like that in every class but it’s why I can’t bring myself to attend a reunion.
It’s also why an ex said I was lying to him simply because I didn’t wish to be terrorized by forcing myself to remember such pain. Remembering such things terrorized me so that I honestly have rarely gone out since.
It has been years. I’ve only gone out if there was some sort of event that I needed to attend, to get food, do laundry or go to the dr.. I’ve tried to attend parties but would usually go once and not go back.
If I knew of who to go to because this was both physical and emotional abuse that I did not deserve, I would stand up in a heartbeat!
Shoot! I think about it at 44yrs old!!! That event will haunt me forever! SHAME on those who know it, witnessed this injustice and did nothing.
I was abused another time in a class as well and have talked about it before. It had nothing whatsoever to do with sexual matters. People were also simply stunned, they did not laugh at the way I was treated!
Those who did laugh, you know who you are! If you have children today, I wonder if you would wish that upon them? I personally wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I know that my family does not believe in suing but I most certainly do. I can’t say that I fully understand why my family would allow me to be treated in such ways. I honestly don’t even understand how this community could allow such things and NOT speak against them! It simply makes no sense to me.
I know that my family knows as well because the guy offered my brothers a 6 pack of beer for their silence. One brother took it, the other didn’t.
I can honestly say I see staying silent and allowing injustice as nothing but wrong!
I DO NOT BLAME THOSE IN THAT HIGH SCHOOL TODAY BUT DAMN IT GET CAMERAS ALREADY!
No one will believe a brain surgery survivor when many think that brain surgery means that you can’t think! Although, that is rather idiotic and far from true! If something is on camera, no-one can deny it though.
GET CAMERAS, DO YOUR JOBS! SAVE THE KIDS IN SCHOOL TODAY!
I hope that the school system here knows that each and every one of them who worked at that time failed me terribly. The only ones who didn’t were the ones who didn’t know that was going on. The kind teachers who helped me were the only ones who did not fail me. Those teachers along with the nurse there will be in my heart forever!
If I had a kid, there isn’t a school in Savannah, Ga. that I’d trust with them. That abuse stays with you all of your life. No one deserves it. It’s not right for anyone to be put through that. In my point of view, Schools in Savannah, Ga. are not safe!
Moving on, I still went to the theatre when a show was on and I had some small chorus roles, due to that, there was not enough time to do most of the things I did in other shows.
Again, I talk more about all of that in Episode 3!
This shows some of the playbills from shows I had small chorus roles in.
