I hope that everyone‘s having a wonderful Monday and has a great week!!
I am 40 at last!!
I’m so happy to have been borne on 420 that there are simply no words.
I wanted to share some of my past to celebrate it!
This is a digital work that I made of artworks I made for my theatre family years ago.
At that time I did not fully believe in myself or my own worth.
I was thankful to the people that I worked with and loved them. That’s all that I knew and cared about at that time.
One of the things that I learned from art is that life is way to short not to live for today.
You do not have to deal with it simply by walking away or by being rude, etc.
At one time I would let people hurt my feelings because they would have events, etc. that would totally ignore me while making sure to invite others who I knew.
All the while, I praised them! Trying to gain their love and respect.
I did not expect anyone to be buddy buddy with me. That’s not how theatre works. We don’t all know eachother on a personal level. Love is different at different levels. I will forever love my art family.
I go through hard days but even during those hard days I absolutely love my art family. I know that some locally don’t know why or even take the time to find out why I feel certain ways.
I learned through years though that some simply didn’t want to take the chance of treating me as everyone else because that meant they might get to know me.
Theatre wasn’t like that when I had more to offer others or when people realised what I had to offer.
I’ve actually always had alot to offer but like everyone needed a friend to help remind me or encourage me.
Thank God that art family’s worldwide though.
I don’t just have family here in Ga. now! I have family everywhere and I love them. I’ve learned alot from them too, alot more then they could possibly know!
That does not mean that I wish to get to know each of them personally, etc.
Why should I?
I’m so not impressed with money or positions, etc. it’s not funny.
If ya want to know me and think ya have what it takes, bring it on babe!
I’m not the scared type. Bring it…I dare ya…
That DOES mean that I love and respect everyone personally way more then I ever could professionally.
It takes a strong soul to be in the artworld and I completely respect that and am beyond proud to be a part of it.
Some talk to me today and some don’t.
It took me years to realise that not everyone is going to care about me the same way I have cared about them but not to harden all of my heart to only protect it because there are people who care. There are people who will believe in me.
Just as my friend there are people who believe in YOU!
I felt for years that I had to earn the love and respect from people in my life in and out of the artworld.
I’ve worked for years for free. Nothing but my heart pulled me along, so if I haven’t earned love and respect I nolonger need it.
What I have to say to those who hang onto bad things is holding onto the bad things will not help you!
It is not wrong that you are alive. You deserve life.
Don’t let what others say bring you down because that gives them power over you and that only harms you, creates inner pain and stops you from creating the joy that you can bring to this world.
The world needs that special gift that only you have. ~Marie Forleo
Remember the love and good times and stop dwelling on what makes you upset.
Life is full of blessings…open your eyes and hearts to them. Don’t forget all the good and dwell in the bad..live!
Still, the choice is yours to make. Nobody can make that choice for you.
It took years of going back and forth from being extremely grateful to being totally heartbroken crying myself to sleep for me to realise that.
Don’t make that mistake. Don’t fully give anyone the key to your heart.
Especially those who don’t take the time to get to know you or what you have done to help people just like them.
May you not have to cry your way through sleepless nights like I did.
Most of that was actually helped by theatre because I did not have the time to think of the harm done to me, etc.
Today, I honestly give them the respect they gave me which is not to give a rats ass if I am ignored because I know my worth!
Thanks to others who have helped me see it. You guys know who you are. Please know that I absolutely love you!
I hope that whoever may be reading this knows that YOU are a bad ass and you can do it!
I figure why complain about things in life, etc. Why not go find what brings you joy and live.
Right now for example I’m going through a very hard time and doing so without the same sort of support from friends that some have.
I can dwell on that… or I can think of the good things in my life and the things that I have to give.
What makes me strong and able to handle this shit is in each person.
You are a outstandingly strong individual and can achieve anything you set your mind to. Let nobody and nothing bring you down. ~ Angela Taylor
One of the things that helps me is to think of all the people who are huge inspirations to me and remember that they too have bad days. They may not post photos of those bad days on facebook for the world to see but they have them. Believe me, they’re actually human beings too.
Every situation is different but I bet that the main goal of many has not been to harm or make anyone feel worthless.
I’m betting that ignoring was their way of protecting so why not show them that they have taught you to be strong too?
Ignore them right back because only that will show them you’re ready for more.
If you aren’t ready yet, keep going because one day you will be strong enough all it takes is to workout your inner self.
Those who lash out because they know of no other way to deal are in actuality harming themselves.
Stress can cause heart attacks, etc.
This is why meditation and calming down is so important.
In my opinion meditation should be in school as it helps with health and really nobody knows what anothers home-life is like.
People please know your worth, relax and let go.
Live and let live.
Those who realise your worth will contact you because they will want to spend time with you, etc.
The rest well they’ll be trying to contact you later when they can only talk to your assistant.
The way that I cope with things is art.
I wondered about that until a few different things made me question it.
I tell you this in hopes that it will help another.
I won’t go into my full story as those who follow me probably already know it and those who don’t haven’t taken the time to read my about page.
In truth, I am not going into my personal past because that part of my past does not make who I am.
It helped create who I am today mind you and for that I will forever be grateful but I need to live for today.
I choose not to dwell in pain because I choose life. Everyone deserves to live.
Everyone deserves to see the good things in life so why not share the blessings that you have with someone today? Why not spread that joy?
Protecting your heart may be needed in life but please don’t let it die. You need your heart to live… you need and deserve love. I have NO idea who or what you consider to be love but go find it whatever it is. May it bring you joy and help you to live.
Onto my art past…
I’m going to start with a photo of me working back-stage at 15yrs.
Thank you for being my home. You seriously saved me!
I would watch the painting of backdrops and learned to make props, etc. it was hugely educational and extremely fun!
I did not paint at the time but did draw. I carried around a notebook of disney characters that I drew.
When I tried painting them later, I was reminded that I would be sued for painting a character that I didn’t create.
I later tried some portraits in cards but always had that in mind and the jokes, etc. made by my brother. Later I would get a card for my cousin as a gift that he offered to pay for!!!
I was supporting another artist who I hugely admired but I can draw too.
More importantly, a gift is not about the money that it costs.
I loved my cousin then, I love him now although I think that was an ass thing for him to do. That was also years ago and the past is the past.
Lesson, your family can be right about some things but absolutely wrong about others.
Choose love nomatter what and remember that family may be everywhere. You are not alone!
After listening to a friend of mine, I am thinking of sharing the portraits I made in the past again!
You know why you are and thank you!!!
You are a beautiful, strong soul. I truly believe that I met you to learn from you.
I know that from reading this you all may think that I am a coach or only do theatre. I don’t I am a visual artist, so please take a look at my works!
Lastly, here is a another digital work that I made to share!
I used a mixed media piece that I made years ago.
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Please note if you follow me I do post photos of my food, and digital greetings from time to time.
I also want people to know that I am just a visual artist and not a photographer, chef, preacher, or coach, etc.
I am also not by any means a medical professional and no longer do theatre.
Questions or comments about this post or my art?
Again, don’t be shy! Write me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Most importantly be kind and until next time keep smiling people!!!