Due to events in my life, I missed Monday Memories. No worries though, it’ll be back next Monday. 🙂 Here is a picture that I took to share. As seen in the picture, I do have medical conditions, I just do not dwell on them or try not to.
You can read about them on my site at: http://www.angelasartarea.com/about/ if you are interested. Why do I talk about them? I talk about them to create awareness, and help others. To let them know that they aren’t alone.
Why do I choose not to dwell on them? The answer to that one is easy! If I dwell on my conditions, it seems extra hard to live. If I think of the beautiful things to be grateful for in this world, I realize life is worth living.What I choose to think of is completely up to me. Those around me may not see this, and are in denial of such reality. I’m no follower though, I am a leader!
I read some great news about the legalization of Medical Marijuana in FL. and other places! Now if only Ga. would follow their lead!
May children suffering from illnesses of all kinds be helped by the healing properties found in marijuana and given the chance to at least legally try a medication that may help their quality of life.
I will be completely honest. I have thought seriously about my wanting to work. Why? Mainly because I have been asked by my coach and others.I also hear so many negative things locally about my trying to follow my dreams it would be rather naive of me if I didn’t take them into account.
My physically NOT being able to see made me realize just how hard it is for those in the arts today who are blind. They don’t let the things being disabled takes away stop them. That being so, who do I think I am to even consider giving up on my dreams!?! Seriously Who!?
I can’t just think of myself, and send the message to others that it’s ok to give up on your dreams. I don’t completely understand how anyone could be ok with sending that message, but really to each their own.
Years ago, I asked for local help from an artist friend of mine who is also disabled. I figured that if anyone would understand she would. All I got from her was negativity about how I didn’t fully understand what is involved in such things. Thinking back she was probably just trying to protect me. In all honesty, some who are disabled can’t take the level of stress that comes with being an artist. She most likely has heard all of that negativity as well, and only from others who care about her. To stop someone due to their disability is wrong though. I know when my disability acts up it can be rather hard. That confuses many, and they judge me due to that among other things. I am not one to give up on my dreams and I am not one to pass on the message that others should give up on theirs. Although, honestly that did cut my heart up and make me consider it. I look up to many people in the arts, but there is not one soul who I look up to and love more. Due to that they shall remain nameless.
I think that some people forget what it was like to have a dream like that, especially if they have alot of people to back them up helping them. Many forget what took their mind off of the pain of reality? What was and is therapy for them. How although everyone is 100% deserving of such things, many have to believe in themselves and not give up. Many have to work to make their dreams a reality. Unless they marry someone who makes their dreams a reality that is, and I’m just not willing to do that any longer.
Her marriage was actually my rock after surgery. I was unable to attend her wedding of course due to hospitalization, but I’d listen to the cd from her wedding over and over. It gave me something to hold onto and comforted me on my many hard days. She gave me something to hold onto, let me know that I wasn’t alone and later broke my heart telling me in a round about way to give up on my belief. I learned though that it’s ok. That’s a part of life, not everyone is going to believe in you. You have to be strong enough to push on through, and keep going. One of the things I learned and am very grateful for is not to believe in others so easily. Plus, her brother helped me to put things in perspective.
Due to that, I have absolutely NO regrets.
Now I realize how much of a fantasy world I was in. Although I respect married couples, I no longer wish to give my freedom to another, and now know marriage isn’t for me.
If you believe in anything enough to follow it, follow the light that’s inside of you. Let that light shine for the world to see, and don’t let anyone put that light out.
In all honesty many locals have been rather negative, but not all of them. In fact some have put smiles on my face, and helped alot. Those are the people who I choose to concentrate on, but I also have a coach to help me remember the GOOD things in life to be grateful for.
I understand the questioning of can she handle it? To be honest, and I’m being 100% honest here. I grew up watching everyone do what I couldn’t, and I had to get used to it. I had to learn to be happy for everyone no matter what. I had to suck it up, and take it like a big girl. If I can handle that, I can handle the world of the arts.
The fact that I grew up in the arts does not mean that I grew up with the freedom that comes with driving or not going to the ER when everyone else was at the prom. It does not mean that I don’t have memories of being taken away on a stretcher in high school. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t have memories of people acting like they were having a seizure and laughing. What it does mean is when I was on meds that made me stop eating, etc. I still went to rehearsals after school. The fact that medication killed people and was taken off the market didn’t matter. The fact that I could suck it up and take it like a big girl did. My view is a little odd here so I shall NOT say a name but I will say THAT IS sucking it up and taking it like a big girl when alot of people would have given up.
I’ve also had directors offer me wonderful opportunities, only to forget them. Ya know what though, that’s life, and as crazy as some may think it is I still absolutely love them. Those experiences made me stronger. Yes I was drinking at 15yrs old when one sip could get me drunk, but everyone in the arts knows that there is a good side and a bad side to most situations. The good out ways the bad and I personally will never forget that. My past is in my past, I can cry about it or I can learn from it. I choose to forgive, learn from it, and move forward.
Although Cannabis Oil is helping me to remember some things that I would much rather forget, it is also helping me to deal with many things that NOT dealing with keeps me from living. By not having the ability to remember, the ability to move on was taken away from me. Cannabis Oil gave me that ability and the medical field should know that taking away the ability to think keeps people from moving on, and living. How anyone can do that, I do not know. All I know is even with my last seizure, I was blind, and now I see.
I know the risks of what I do, and to be honest I’m scared of them. I can deal with whatever comes, and whatever doesn’t come. I do know that I want to be in the arts forever though. I also know that my freedom costs money that I do not have at the moment, but I will keep believing until I make it. Not just me, but for all of those who need someone to stand and let them know that they aren’t alone. I just don’t want to be one of those big named movie stars. No offense, I’m also not 100% impressed by them anymore. The only actors actions that have impressed me would be Leonardo DiCaprio’s actions helping to end Climate Change, and help the world. I’m not saying he’s not talented, but I am saying that type of talent can only do so much. No offense to Leo, but there are also a great number of people with that amount of talent who are complete and total jerks.In all actors defense though, the same goes for anyone with talent. They often use that talent to get just what they want.
In all honesty, I found that sort of talent/looks completely attractive when I was younger. I was to blind to even notice or care about the jerk part. How many teens actually care about REAL actions anyway? Show them that much talent, add looks and that’s more then enough for some. It’s HUGELY SAD! That’s why today, although it’s attractive, onscreen is no longer enough. It’s up to the actors how they use that talent, and he has used it for the absolute correct reasons in my book. The question is will he continue to do so? His actions make me want to watch Before the Flood again. Before the Flood shows us how climate change affects our environment and what society can do to help stop the demise of endangered species, ecosystems and native communities across the planet. Written by: Mark Monroe Director: Fisher Stevens Released on: October 21, 2016
I highly recommend it!
One of the good things can be found in movies made solely for entertainment reasons can be found in Finding Never land with Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet, Dustin Hoffman, and Julie Christie. Finding Never land is about the life of a storyteller and the people who inspired his masterwork Peter Pan. Well-known playwright James M. Barrie (Depp) finds his career at a crossroads when his latest play flops and doubters question his future. Then by chance he meets Sylvia Liewelyn Davies (Winslet) and her four adventurous boys. Together they form a friendship that awakens the imagination needed to produce Barrie’s greatest work. Even more importantly, the imagination brought to life by James M. Barrie (Depp) helps Sylvia Liewelyn Davies (Winslet) get through a very hard and traumatic time in her life. The therapeutic techniques found in art are just astounding. The story of Finding Never land is one that I’ve written about before. Still, I wanted to share it again as I believe that it goes beyond words in expressing how the middle should be found. Imagination is needed in times of trauma, but too much imagination actually denial can be beyond harmful.
I believe that people are often in denial when reality is too hard and painful to face.
My reality is I don’t know 100% that I’ll make it each night. Sometimes I wish James M. Barrie would come to life and make me a Never land. My reality is one that I’m sure I understand, but not one that I believe everyone in my life understands. Understand this if you can…my never land is ArtCardsUnited.
The thing that I’ve recently learned is my Never land wouldn’t only be based on imagination. My Never land would help to save this world. ArtCardsUnited is going to stand up for all different things. The great thing is, I don’t have to have the abilities many have at birth to stand up digitally. What I can’t physically do multiplies the beauty of what I can do. That being so, I’ve turned my disabilities into abilities! If I can do it, you can too. We can all find that light that we hold, and work together to make the world a better place.
Artist: Cathy Holford http://www.pixiewildflower.com/
Lastly…..I had to share this with you. My very talented friend Cathy Holford made this outstanding work for me! It came at the perfect time! I needed a smile, and a little magic to remind me to keep spreading my wings to fly! May everyone do the same. Let’s let our lights shine!